Before I had children I used to think ‘I’d quite like a bath’ and then guess what? I had one. Sometimes I’d even read a magazine or sit on the sofa uninterrupted through a whole programme in the day time! Often I would watch other things on television when they were actually  scheduled and I don’t think I ever had to catch up with East Enders at 3am… In fact, the only time I used to see 3am at all was when I rolled home from a night out… I love having babies and I don’t want to go back to rolling in at any time thanks. But… There are some eye watering things that happen when you become a parent that never would have pre-baby! These are some of the things that make me laugh and cry in equal measures. In time to come they will become funny stories we giggle at (and never cry) I’m sure…

I don’t think I ever go to the toilet in private. Most of the time I have a child or two with me. Often I have running commentary or questions about what I am doing and more than once the product of my being in the loo has to be viewed and discussed by all in the room afterwards. I have even breast fed on the toilet, there have been times when there has been no other option! You don’t see that in any of the lovingly gentle pictures for breast feeding advice!

I can’t say anything out loud that I don’t want repeated and even the most innocent of discussions with a child can come out all wrong in the relaying! When watching the Unicef advert one day over supper, a supper Florence was refusing to eat, I said ‘Florence you don’t know how lucky you are, those poor boys and girls don’t have anything to eat’. I was pleased when every subsequent time she saw it she ‘Awwed’ and said ‘Those poor boys and girls have nothing to eat, we need to eat all our food’. I thought the message had gone in understood properly but… When swimming one day she stood right in front of a British family originally from Nigeria, pointed and said this ‘Awwww, those poor boys and girls have no food, can you give them some of mine Mummy’. To say I was mortified is an under statement!

I have realised I don’t care who sees my boobs nowadays. Seriously! A wardrobe malfunction years ago would have left me beyond embarrassed! I remember a friend of mine running across the road and her boob popping out of her dress. It was literally ALL we talked about all evening! ‘OH MY GOD, CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED’ as we all cringed for her. These days and I’d be surprised if there’s anyone I know who hasn’t seen my baps? Walking round Tesco feeding the baby in a sling then forgetting to put one away properly or opening the door to the postman (who calls me ‘gorgeous’ – SO never am when he sees me – with a wink incidentally) with a boob not just a little bit visible but fully out because I was feeding then did something else then the doorbell rang, are a fairly common occurrence I’d say! And I JUST DON’T CARE?!

I have found myself doing things that pre-children I’d have been disgusted to see from anyone else! Licking my finger to remove grime from my child’s face, eating a chewed up piece of food because there is literally nowhere else to put it, picking the snot from my child’s nose and running out of the house without washing or brushing my teeth because I’m late for the school bell are just a few of them! I even sometimes have allowed my children to have snot trails running down their noses with bits of dirt stuck to it because I’ve been too busy to wipe, for a millionth time, someone else’s nose that day – this is something I used to see on children on buses and think ‘YUCK’ can’t the mother just DO something about that!

I say things I can’t believe too! Things my Mum used to say to me that I probably vowed at the time I’d never say to my own children. Yes I have uttered words like ‘When I was little we never had…’ and ‘Eat up all your greens, they’re good for you’. As a child I used to think oh for goodness sake when things like that were said! I also tell white lies like my Mum did with me, ‘If you don’t clean your teeth the tooth fairy won’t come’, ‘No, your CD won’t work in the car today, there’s not enough signal’ and in reply to ‘what are you eating’ have said ‘orange’ when really it’s chocolate…

Yes, having children can change a person and it certainly means life will never again be how you once knew it. You worry more, care about trivia less and do embarrassing things. Your time is never your own, you can’t say or do anything in private and you start to turn into your own parents… But it’s brilliant isn’t it!

MY LIFE WITH 2!

Since our holiday which didn’t see much sunshine we have been soaking up the London rays which have finally decided to come out! I love the summer, it makes everything brighter and lighter and I adore wearing my summer wardrobe, not that it’s particularly extensive these days!

The children have been loving it too and even though it means they don’t go to bed until super late and get up at the crack of dawn with the longer day light hours, I don’t mind! Jonny does though and when their cousin came to stay last weekend they didn’t go to bed till about eleven which saw Daddy almost giddy with despair! I’m afraid we don’t see eye to eye on bed time, I’m happy not to have a routine until they go to school and can easily go with the flow but it does really get to him, we’ll have to come to some sort of compromise soon though…

Florence has been doing lots of craft this week and spent hours at the kitchen work top doing glitter (and covering the house in it) the other day. She’s such an imaginative artist and I love that she enjoys it so much! Jimmy has been talking more and more and is saying Daddaaaay as well as Mummaaaay all the time now! He also has a new tooth! At last! 7 lovely little teeth altogether! The other day, left unsupervised for a few minutes in the kitchen and despite the door locks on the cupboards, I found them with lots of little chocolates they have managed to extract from the ‘yum cupboard’! Granny and Papa brought them back from a recent holiday and they were caught red handed eating them right through the foil wrappers in Jimmy’s case!

See you again next week and in the mean time please do follow me on Twitter @rocknrollerbaby.

I was not paid for any part of this post.

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