When I was pregnant with Florence I wasn’t sure I would breast feed. I mean I think I wanted to but it all seemed a little weird and I was just going to wait and see what happened. I decided I would try to do it to begin with but then probably, as it all sounded very hard, give up and go on to formula.

As soon as she was born and wouldn’t latch on properly, instead of taking the stance that ‘I couldn’t feed’, something happened in me and I became absolutely determined to do it! Like, to the point of it was the be all and end all! I was going to feed my baby no matter what!

After two weeks I got cracked nipples so went to see a breast-feeding councillor who said it was because she wasn’t latched properly. She told me to finger feed for a few days as Florence wouldn’t take a bottle and that was the only way of getting my expressed milk to her. (NO WAY was she having any formula) Expressing was tremendously painful I have to say, but not quite as eye watering as her sucking while not latching correctly. A few days turned into two weeks and one time I even uttered the words ‘perhaps we should get some formula?’ Jonny was adamant not to and I know some people would think that was unkind of him but I’m so grateful that he was like that!

After a fortnight I got mastitis. I woke up feeling so ill and forced myself to Tesco where the dozy (fully trained) chemist, upon hearing me say I was breast-feeding and had one hard boob which had a bright red patch and I ached like I had flu, said ‘Oooh, I don’t know what that could be, go home and take paracetamol’. I remember talking to Florence all the way home and saying to her ‘please be good for Mummy, please sleep a bit today, I feel so ill’… Luckily she did and was the model baby that afternoon. The next morning I woke up feeling worse. Expressing (from the other boob) for the finger feed was just about all I could do and when my wonderful midwife Suzan called to see how I was it was a major relief when she said ‘You have mastitis, I’m cancelling all my appointments and coming over’.

That afternoon she fed me tea, looked after Florence, made me lunch, insisted I ate it and then she sorted everything else out too!

She helped me drain my boob with a hot flannel, just a bit to relieve it a touch. Then she told me we HAD to get Florence latched on properly and she helped me try different positions until Florence was nearly there; then Suzan just kind of forced her! She looked at Florence with an air of authority, told her to latch on, moved her head firmly and then she did it! SHE DID IT! That was the first time. and we’ve never looked back!

Suzan said to me afterwards that she would have given up. She saw how cracked my nipples were and said I would have been quite justified in saying I’d given it a good go. I am SO pleased that I didn’t though. I love breast-feeding.

We all know it’s the best start: all the antibodies they get, they don’t over feed etc. And it’s easier: No bottles to sterilise and make up and we never forget to bring a feed out with us! But it’s not about that. Well it is a bit of course but for me it’s the closeness. I don’t think there is anything better in the world than looking down and seeing your baby feed… It’s beautiful!

I have, as it turns out, turned into a prolonged breast feeder. I thought I’d do 6 months. I was sad at 6 months that it was coming to an end. Over three years later and I’m beginning to wonder if she’ll ever stop! She will, of course she will. I don’t know how old she’ll be and there’ll come a time I’m sure where I have to say enough is enough but I’ve not reached that point yet despite sometimes thinking I have.

Florence doesn’t have that many feeds now but three or four times a week she will have one just before bed and you know what, she’s little, what does it matter? I fed her throughout cracked nipples, mastitis, a second pregnancy (and that was hard) and now I feed them together sometimes. There was never any doubt I’d feed Jimmy if I could and obviously I would have given it the same shot – probably harder if needed! Back in the early days I became quite militant, I’m more relaxed now but breast-feeding is still just so terribly important to me!

I know people judge me and think I’m a hippy or worse, a right on feminist! (I’m neither)! But we do what we do and that’s just how it is. I used to judge women who prolonged their feeding but now I know it’s not me prolonging it, it’s Florence and if she wants it then she needs it for some reason; while she’s only little like this why not? I asked her the other day why she still wants ‘milk, milk’ as we call it and she said ‘well, you let me have it Mummy’. I said what if I didn’t, what if I said no ALL the time when you ask for it (which I do sometimes – she doesn’t get it on demand these days)? And she said, ‘But sometimes I might need it and I’d be upset’. So true, I do let her and perhaps others think that’s wrong but as she says, sometimes she might need it and she’d be upset… Why have upset for no reason, it’s no skin of my or anyone else’s nose to give her a little feed now and then but it gives her so much comfort.

I fought all the way to breast feed my baby and I love it, I won’t deny that but primarily I do it for them. They both love breast-feeding and I love feeding both of them. It solves all kinds of upset as well as doing its main job. A bang on the head or graze to the knee is comforted, it sends them off to sleep, it even clears up rashes, sticky eyes and other ailments when rubbed on. Breast milk is like gold dust and it’s entirely magic I tell you!

So, I’m a breast feeder. I’m a tandem feeder. I’m a prolonged breast feeder… Who cares?!

Me, the non hippy, non right-on feminist – I’m not even a lactivist as some say! I just love feeding my babies and think it’s really important. I don’t care that Florence is over three, if you do, then sod off! This is us the other night, how can anyone say that’s not a pretty picture? 

MY LIFE WITH 2!

For a few months now we’ve been playing ‘eye spy’ with Florence and she’s become really excellent at knowing what words begin with! It’s a game she plays perfectly and I’m pleased because it’s the beginning of her learning to spell. She already pretends to read which my Mum, who is a retired teacher, says is all good work and going in the right direction. I started to read fairly early and reading and writing have always been such a big and enjoyable part of my life that I hope they will give Florence much enjoyment too. A couple of weeks ago she wrote her name on a robot she’d made and I thought it was pretty good but kind of assumed it was a bit of a fluke that some of her letters looked right.

I was impressed but thought perhaps it was just a lucky try when Florence wrote her name on the robot she’d made. I know it’s not her name perfectly but I thought it was quite close considering she’s only three!

But then the other day she showed me her magnetic drawing board and said she’d written her name again and again, although not her name written perfectly,  it’s a flipping good effort! I’m so impressed with her and even more so that it obviously wasn’t a fluke the first time! My little speller! What a star!

Clever Florence makes another good name writing effort so it wasn’t just a fluke!

Obviously her nursery time is very well spent! She’s very proud of herself and so she should be!

Jimmy’s been taking more and more steps and even though he looks so tiny, he’s doing very well indeed! Last count is 6 steps and he’s launching himself from one item where he can hold on, to another one all by himself! I love watching his drunken like little waddle and his smile when he’s done it!

He’s going to be doing some more modelling later on today which is great so I’ll fill you in on how that goes next week!

My clever little duo – well if a Mamma can’t be proud then who can?!

Well, that’s it from me this week, see you next week but in the mean time follow me on Twitter @rocknrollerbaby