This week has seen me display some absolutely monumental parenting – If only that was true and I wasn’t being in the slightest bit sarcastic… So I have managed to trap Jimmy’s fingers in the door resulting in an A&E dash when we were supposed to be on our way to a screening of a new film and on top of that have screamed at both of them in the street like the woman from Shameless… Terrible but then I guess we all have our bad moments…

I had Jimmy in the sling and without thinking he could be in any danger because he was on my back, I turned to the side and SLAMMED the front door shut. Moments later I heard a piercing scream and realised his poor tiny fingers had been in the hinges of the door and I had crushed them. I was rubbish and didn’t know what to do but luckily my downstairs neighbour heard the commotion and came to help us. They looked pretty bad but not bad enough for an ambulance so I rang NHS direct who asked me a series of ridiculous questions about bleeding even though I had told them he wasn’t really and then when I got annoyed with the chap on the phone for asking ‘Is the blood spurting’ after I’d already said it was just a tiny bit of blood, he hung up on me. What a crock of a service! I rang back and spoke to someone else more helpful who told me to take him to A&E.

Off we went, Florence very upset to miss the film but being a big grown up girl and understanding, Jimmy and me. On the bus. I yet again cursed the fact I don’t drive and reminded myself why I will be taking an intensive course in February half term. We got there and the Doctor said immediately that he thought one of Jimmy’s fingers was broken so we were sent off for an X-Ray in record speed. He was lovely and reassuring and told me it happens all the time but I still felt like a rubbish Mum all the same… Thankfully the X-Ray, which Jimmy had hated and had to have his hand taped to the table for, showed that his finger wasn’t broken after all and just very badly bruised with blood being right by the bone the reason that he couldn’t move it. He was a big brave boy and he and I (Florence had been taken home by Jonny on his way home from work) sat and cuddled while we waited to see the nice Doctor and be sent home again with fingers in tact, if a bit painful.

Next morning and I proved myself to be a very grumpy Mummy when I shouted (screamed really) at both my children in the street. How horrid! I never manage to get out on time, we were late and it was my fault but I was blaming Florence for being on the iPad and dawdling while I felt so annoyed with Jimmy for shedding his clothes. When we finally got into the front garden he was running around sans jumper, shoes and socks and I lost the plot. Thank goodness children are forgiving because I wouldn’t have talked to me for a week if I’d been shouted at like that in front of the neighbours. New regime is leave earlier, put Jimmy in very difficult to remove clothing and no more iPads in the morning, although that does mean I won’t get any photo opportunities for Florence’s bed hair like this one!

Still despite my bad parenting techniques this week I have been made to feel a very proud Mummy indeed when I left Florence to do some home work on her own. They are doing about ‘space’ in her class this term and somehow Florence now knows all about the planets, their order and all manner of other interesting facts that she’s passing on (She also taught me about maths partitioning – how clever)! Florence’s writing has been getting better and better but I was AMAZED at what she produced independently this morning. She has only just turned five!

I always write a translation of what she’s written underneath in her home work book, worrying that Miss pretty and Mr Foxy won’t understand otherwise but I think I really might not have to soon. She is amazing my girl and her school is flipping fantastic! The things she is learning are really quite amazing and I simply cannot imagne that even in the best private school in the country they could do better than getting the children who have JUST turned five to produce something like this!

So, next week I will be a nicer Mummy, not accidentally shut anyone’s fingers in the door (I wish it had been my own, I really do) and not shout at them when I really need to shout at myself. Then when I am feeling proud of my babies for being brave and kind and terribly clever, I can try and take some of the credit myself! 😉

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