It might sound a bit dramatic but the title of this post is a statement I feel. Every single day. I don’t like my face.

I guess I’ve often in my life been overly critical of the way I look. After going to drama school I became quite fixated on my body and how fat (or actually it should have been how thin) I was. I scrutinised every single part of me and never liked what I saw. Over the years I’ve mellowed and since having children I don’t really mind that my bum is larger than I would hope for or that my tummy will probably never again be completely flat. I have always had a few spots and although I still get them now, instead of flinging myself on my bed and declaring I shall not go out until they are gone I just get on with it; I don’t really have the time to think much more of it if I’m honest, which is good because to go with the spots I now have wrinkles too – the nineteen year old me would be a mess!

And you know what, I’m not really that fat but if I was I could do something about it. Spots come and go so they’re no biggie either… And I know, I KNOW the way you look is not the be all and end all. I have happy healthy children and a husband and family who love me. It’s people that make this world go round for me not how I look and if their happiness depended on me being larger than a house with a face of the Gruffalo then I know exactly what I’d choose, I’m really not that vain but…

I have these two moles and they make me not like my face. Silly, not important in the grand scheme of things but I’ve always wished I could get rid of them. I am a very moley person in general I guess and am often worried about one or other of them. The ones on my face are no exception but whenever I have been to see my GP about any of my moles, including ones on my body, I have been dismissed and told they don’t deal with moles at all and that I would have to see someone private…

I assumed this would cost thousands of pounds and being in the financial position that I am I knew that the likelihood of me having my facial moles removed was slim, for now… I also know that worrying about all the moles on my body, the years of sun bathing as a teenager and countless dark areas on my arms, legs and torso are justified but what can I do? I’ve half thought about having them checked privately but again, money has been an issue and I’ve not done it. I should have though… I should have because today I went to see someone and I think it might just be the best thing I’ve done for a while!

Today I went to a private clinic on Harley Street, The Harley Street Dermatology Clinic. I  met with Dr Adam Friedmann, a Consultant Dermatologist, and he looked at the moles on my face and said ‘Yep, we can numb them and shave them right off’. Years of not being able to look at myself in the mirror without seeing them first and trying to angle my head in the right way for photographs any time a camera is out and Dr Friedmann just says it so simply ‘Yep, we can numb them and shave them right off’! I COULD HAVE KISSED HIM!

Dr Friedmann’s clinic specialises in problems of the skin. He deals exclusively if you will, with problems like mine. Of course as well as moles he can help with anything skin related including much more serious problems such as cancers. He also sees lots of children who are notoriously bad sufferers of skin complaints. Just last week my own GP decided Jimmy has dermatitis and has prescribed a steroid cream. I’m not sure it’s actually all that bad if I’m honest and think it may be down to the new washing liquid I’m using but Dr Friedmann said that as part of my treatment he will take a look at Jimmy too, just to make sure – very kind of him. He also said, and this is so valuable to me, that at my next appointment he will check my entire body to make sure there isn’t a problem with any of my other moles, I think this might take some time, there are lots… He already said the ones on my face are benign but I do worry and to have a dedicated person check them all… Well, it’s probably something I should do every year isn’t it!

But what about the money? Well yes, it is expensive but remember you do generally get what you pay for. People ask me all the time why we have the most expensive buggy on the market and it’s because it’s the best. It’s expensive but I know I don’t have any problems with it and I won’t have to buy a second one… And, this treatment is not beyond the realms of purse possibility. Dr Friedmann suggested the treatment I will be having, with consultations and after care, should be in the region of around £700. Ok, so too much for the likes of me to just withdraw without thinking but certainly something most people could save up for. If it’s really bothersome, which this is for me – I don’t mind if you think it’s vain, then it IS do-able.

So… So far my experience with the Harley Street Dermatology Clinic has been perfect. I took Jimmy with me and that was all perfectly acceptable, we sat in a gorgeous room with original features which I found very interesting and the wait was comfortable in sumptuous surroundings, my appointment was on time (of course, this isn’t sit and wait for 2 hours at the NHS) and Dr Friedmann was very reassuring. He told me about the scarring, what to expect for a result and explained the procedure. Very relaxing and when Jimmy and I walked through Regent’s Park on our way home I could have cried with happiness.

You see… I really do hate my face and it’s all to do with these little moles Dr Friedmann can just shave right off…

On my way home I passed a children’s bookshop selling all books for a pound and I spied one in the window that I simply HAD to buy for the children. After my morning the words ‘mole’ and ‘love’ seemed very apt.

I’ll keep you posted on what happens next…

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