New Year, New Me!

I wrote just the other day all about our lovely Christmas and the birthdays – in our house the celebrations seem never ending – and we had the best time. BRILLIANT in fact! By the end, when we saw in the New Year with great friends, I knew some lovely memories had been made and felt replete in that. We enjoyed every second from the minute the kids broke up for the holidays, to the day they went back to school nearly 3 weeks later, and honestly, truth be told and as always, I am gutted they’ve had to go back. I feel blue about it and can’t rejoice with the other parents who are happy to get some time back. I think we are all different like that and I will always be looking forward to the next chunk of time off. It’s my happy…

However, while I am sad they are back at school there is a part of me that feels good about being back to normal in one respect… The eating! And the drinking for that matter. For while I feel replete in all the memories, I feel over stuffed, over gorged and over indulged in the food stakes…

We should feel refreshed after nearly 3 weeks off but instead Jonny and I feel sluggish and like we need a massive health kick now that everyone is back to the grind. I know that a lot of people don’t see the point in New Year’s resolutions or buying into diet culture just because it’s January but I feel I have to start somewhere and January is as good a time as any, especially after the indulgent time we’ve just had. It makes perfect sense to me to overhaul and try something new.

I enjoyed all the over indulging (and boy did I over indulge) but now it’s time to take the bull by the horns and say ENOUGH! I am sick of being overweight and feeling rubbish. My knee hurts more when I’m heavier and frankly I just don’t like the way I look and nor should I have to when I can do something about it!

I am, however, filled with dread every time I mention something socially about losing weight because it’s almost as if the notion has become a dirty word. I appreciate that there is a big social media push from real women to love themselves and be body positive and while I agree with the sentiment to a degree, fully embracing that we should celebrate that we are all different with lumps and bumps and non-airbrushed skin being ABSOLUTELY WHERE IT’S AT, I also think people, myself included, might have been using this campaign as a bit of an excuse to be overweight actually…

It’s much easier to say things are fine and write off an unhealthy lifestyle than do something about it, it’s also easier to jump on a bandwagon if the circumstances can forgive you a way of life you’re not actually comfortable with. I applaud the bo-po movement for showing that we can sag south and that we are all born differently, THIS IS LIFE! But I also wonder if somewhere along the line, from wanting to get away from showing under fed bodies as normal, it might be going too far the other way now?!

The emaciated images fed to us by the media of heroin chic models sculpted a generation into believing we had to starve ourselves. I’m not sure that saying ‘big is beautiful’ is any better or less damaging. What we should be saying is ‘let’s sit in the middle of body extremes either end of the scale’ and say that ‘eating food is good, eating food is enjoyable, eating food is LIFE’. But, also that everything in moderation makes for a healthy individual. If you ate a lot at Christmas then perhaps a little cut back here and there without denying yourself what your body needs is a good thing.

Being severely under or overweight is not good for a body – ANY body. It doesn’t make for a healthy lifestyle and surely that’s what we should be aiming for – or at least trying for. Wouldn’t it be lovely if our bodies could just sit where they are naturally inclined to. No one is meant to be emaciated and no one is meant to be obese. But it’s tough, because once your relationship with food is skewed then it’s skewed and this is why I feel the promotion of extreme body types being portrayed as ‘normal’ is all wrong whichever end of the scale. Normalising something which is not natural and as a result of a bad relationship with food has got to have repercussions. I have met people who are massively overweight but who say they don’t eat badly, it doesn’t make sense and I suspect just like I would hide my eating habits when I was underweight, the same is happening here, because if you eat well, your body receives the benefits. It’s just simple science.

For me ‘normal’ is not having to think about it too much but knowing that we have, after excesses like Christmas, to eat less and move more if we want to maintain a healthy body. I love the indulgence and don’t want to deny that for occasions but that saying ‘everything in moderation’ just calls to me. I don’t want to look like you, or her, or anyone else! I want to look like me, but I want to look like the me who has a good relationship with food, who doesn’t eat or deny to the extreme and this is why I AM on a New Year health kick and won’t be made to feel like I’m swearing for declaring!

EAT. LESS. MOVE. MORE.

That’s all I’m going to do. No fad diets. No extreme exercise. Just trying to be mindful and make better choices. I want a fridge filled with colour instead of beige, I want to drink apple cider vinegar to help suppress my large appetite and I want to drink more water to do the same and for my skin which is another victim of my over indulging! I will swim, gym and walk more because it’s good for me and makes me feel better. When I feel better I look better and then I feel better even more still and the cycle goes on!

So here’s to 2020 – let’s do this, my lardy bummer needs to be trimmer so I’m going for it and won’t be made to feel bad. Oh and I’ll still have a glass of wine and a bit of chocolate now and then… I think if I don’t do that then I’ll fall off the bandwagon immediately!

I always say let’s promote STRONG not SKINNY and I so I also wasn’t to say let’s promote HEALTHY instead of OVERWEIGHT! It just makes sense!