The Perfect Match!

I have a very cosmopolitan pal who has been single for most of her adult life – not entirely through choice. She’s searched high and low for her perfect match; there’ve been a whole heap of kissed frogs along the way, but that elusive Prince Charming has yet to present himself.

But she has been starting to give up hope of ever meeting “the one”. I get it, I do. A lifetime of looking, mid-forties and still nothing but… I’m not entirely sure that she should lose all faith just yet. I understand her frustrations, she seems to have continually been meeting the same (and yet different) wrong guy and it must feel like there really isn’t much point. But that’s the thing, you see… It’s that she keeps meeting the same wrong’n’!

She has had a type and the type is where the problem lies. If you search in the same places, for the same thing, likelihood is that’s what you’re gonna get, right?! I’ve been explaining this to her for years and though I can see that in itself must be really annoying, I think she finally is starting to understand that if she shifts the goal posts, that’s when she will win the game!

It’s not about compromising, definitely not. I don’t think any of us should lower our standards, we all deserve the very best. But it’s about looking at what doesn’t work and changing the gear to shift us into a more favourable pace. So, I’ve suggested she look into Christian dating. The basis of being a good person, no matter what your beliefs in life, are full of Christian values and so meeting someone who has them, upholds them, and seeks to be with someone likeminded is surely the main part of the battle won.

The men she’s been dating thus far have often been younger than her, which ten years ago might have been fun. But nothing more was going to come of it. A man in his twenties simply wasn’t trying to settle down with a woman a decade older than him and it’s a story which played out over and over but each and every time, she’d fallen hard and simply didn’t get it. And while there may have been some sort of slim chance one of them might have stuck, they seemed to stay the same age as she advanced and that possibility grew further and further away, the older and older she got.

Some of these men she’s watched settle down with other women, younger women of course, and hasn’t been able to understand why it wasn’t her they wanted but with every failed relationship her dreams of settling down herself, and having children, have dwindled. Meeting someone with values that matter might change this I think, along with trying to meet a guy her own age! Of course, it would be kind of hard for her to meet someone without any baggage (as is her preferred choice) if looking for someone of her own vintage but really, first of all she doesn’t have any baggage and she’s available, so why might not he be too. But secondly, even if this special guy on her horizon does have tales from his past, they can be ones he shares with her, woven from one tapestry right into a new one that they create together. And all the richer for having stories to tell, as well as new ones to create.

My hope for her is that she finally gets to meet the man of her dreams, that they can settle down, maybe have a baby and spend the rest of their loves ridiculously happy together. She deserves it, she’s a beautiful person and being happy and in love is definitely something she should have on her horizon – I’m sure her special someone has friends saying the exact same about him too!

So here’s to finding love, marriage and a wonderfully beautiful happily ever after!