Dear Katie Hopkins…

Dear Katie Hopkins,

I’ve wondered whether or not to write this letter at all. I see that by doing so it is principally adding fuel to the media coverage I believe you are courting and although I’d rather not do that, at the same time I feel I had to add my two penneth worth. After all, you always have yours.

Now, first and foremost, I don’t think you are a horrible person through and through. I think you are frank and honest in your opinions which can be quite admirable. To say a few of the things you have I find quite brave and some of the time you have only said what the rest of us are thinking but not prepared to admit. Take the children’s names saga, I agree with you! On the whole, I think you can tell which class children’s families fall into judging by the choice of name their parents give them. Is that a snobby view? Perhaps. Is it incorrect? I don’t think so.

I judge and have judged in the past on the basis of names and I think that’s natural. I’m sure everyone does it no matter what demographic they fall into. We might not all be thinking the same things about the same names but I’m sure every person of every class, has an opinion on other people’s choices of names. The fact that my own thoughts on the topic lie closely to yours probably means we are of the same class distinction. I know you specifically mentioned the name Florence as being ‘acceptable’ and as that is my daughter’s name I suppose we have that in common although I chose it because of its beauty rather than acceptability. I also can’t stand made up names or ones which are really meant to be sir names and would whole heartedly agree that I have never met a Wayne, Dwayne or Shane who hasn’t been a naughty! I’m sure there are many Waynes and let’s face it, in the future probably Kanyes with PHD’s but I’d put my bottom dollar on there being more Doctors with the Christian name Philip, Edward or Michael!

But to be honest, I’m not really writing about the name thing or about how I agree with you on it. I’m not writing this letter about your bravery in saying what you think or about how I think fundamentally you are probably a good person but instead as a bit of a telling off I’m afraid. I understand that you have a book coming out and want to get as much publicity as you can. I see that saying something outrageous works for you as any PR is good PR but Katie, Oh Katie; you have said something truly vicious now and completely uncalled for. Some things, not many, but SOME things, if you feel them, need to be kept inside your head! They really do! How could you possibly say, and I hear that you have,’ Ginger children are harder to love‘? You silly, silly woman!

I’m not ginger by the way and neither are my children but c’mon dear, that’s really below the belt and even though it bares no relation to my own life I simply had to stand up to you and say what an idiotic thing it was for you to say? I gather from it that like the less typically classy names you don’t admire, ginger hair is not a favourite of yours. You certainly didn’t want any of your own children to have it, but you know what? Even if they had been ginger I’m sure you would have loved them just as much. I’m sure any mother, of any child would love that child no matter what they looked like because that’s what being a mother is all about – loving and protecting your children no matter what! I personally don’t see what’s wrong with ginger hair? I think it’s beautiful but I understand that it might not be your favourite colour. What I don’t understand is how you could be so wicked as to say children with it would have parents facing a difficult time finding their love!! I mean, are you actually serious? Just seems such a mental thing to say!

Ok, so here’s what I think about why you might have such a warped opinion. I think you might struggle with being a mother yourself. Shock horror and you’re never going to admit it because you think you’re great at everything but I don’t know any stable mummy in the world who would think a mother couldn’t love a child on the basis of their looks – if you are then I’m sure you’re the only one. When we give birth, we look at our babies and we just feel pure love. I thought Florence was the most beautiful baby in the world from the moment I clapped eyes on her and the same with Jimmy. I can see looking back at the photos that they were both a bit puffy from birth but to me, as their Mummy, there wasn’t, and still isn’t, any child more beautiful. As far as I know THAT is how a mother thinks, sod ginger hair or big noses, webbed feet or heavens, even something missing! Whatever, WHATEVER  a baby looks like and I know as a Mummy, that it would hold no baring on how much they would be loved! It could be thought that maybe you have struggled with motherhood if you feel differently?

Who goes back to work 2 weeks after they give birth and more to the point who thinks it’s acceptable? I’m afraid Katie that although I agree with you that women can have it all, I don’t think they should! Some people HAVE to go back to work and nothing can be done about that but why would you have a baby only to abandon it a fortnight later because you simply couldn’t be away from work any longer? Seriously, what’s the point? Just so that you can strike it off a list of all the things you CAN have? You silly woman, don’t you realise what you’ve missed out on? All that bonding and letting your hormones settle down? Did you breast feed out of interest? If you did, how did you cope doing it when back at work? You must have been like a machine, so where was the time to sit back and enjoy your baby? How did you find time to wonder at their beauty, even if they have your nose (which you said yourself makes you look like a horse) and to fall in love with life as a Mummy?

Surely we should work to live and not the other way round? It’s our people who make our world go round not how well we’ve done at business. I don’t think anyone reaches the end and says ‘I wish I’d worked more and had less love?’ I feel sorry for you, I really do. You might be able to have it all but somewhere along the line something has to give and going back to work when you have a two week old baby is making a compromise which must have affected your babies. No body has to go back that early and the government would help support you to stay off longer because it’s necessary! But you went back because you wanted to and in my opinion you abandoned your child in order to do so. No wonder you have fucked up, excuse my language but its necessary here, ideas about how parents love and can love children!

I think you say some things because they are true, others to make a media furore and things like this because you’re being down right rude. Have you considered that you may be emotionally scarred from not staying and doing your job as a mother to the best of your abilities? I’m sure your children might also wear their own scars loudly and proudly at some point – boy will you have a job on your hands if that happens. You can have it all yes, but you really shouldn’t as something will always be compromised. With you one could say it’s your children who were compromised and I’m afraid it may have affected your own ability to know what it is to be a Mother, just a thought but one worth considering I’d say.

Know this, to be a Mother is to love your children with your life and also know that any Mother would die for their child. If you offend my child then you see what a tigress I become! I’m a Mother, that’s what I do and I know that any mother of any child whether they be ginger, blonde or sky blue flaming pink would do the same!

Keep your ignorance to yourself in future. Say what you like but never question a Mother’s love. One could say any Mummy who could criticise a child on looks alone couldn’t possibly be a real Mummy! I’d have thought as a Mother you would have known that! Why not take a break and get to know your own children Katie, things are different when you see them and look after them yourself, you might find you like it. You might even be good at it and it’ll be the best ‘job’ you’ve ever done. It might teach you about love too… They say if you listen to every little thing your little ones say then they will tell you all the big things later on, I wonder if yours will?

I know you won’t take my advice but I had to give it because you’ll be the one missing out and so will your little ones. Again! Just as an aside and trying to work out why you are the way you seem to be, I wonder, have you ever considered that you might just have post natal depression? It’s the only excuse I can think for a Mummy to say such wicked things? No, I’m sure you did just say a truly vile thing to promote the book but I thought it might be worth giving you the benefit of the doubt – I’m good like that, mothering perhaps?

Yours with a shaking head, the mother of a Florence and a Jimmy.

P.S, their middle names are Ladybird and Bumblebee, what do you make of that oh mighty mouthed one?


9 thoughts on “Dear Katie Hopkins…

  1. Well done Ruth. This woman indeeds sounds like a complete idiot and you took the time regardless to share some brilliant insights into what it is to mother.

  2. And please tell me you’re not joking about their middle names? How fantastic!

    1. Oh yes! Florence Mary Ladybird and Jimmy Buster Bumblebee in full! I literally couldn’t help myself! 🙂

  3. Indeed! She is sad in the most original sense of the word. If she wasn’t so ridiculous I would feel sorry for her. I hope she reads although of course she’ll disagree. Poor confused sad little woman.

  4. You are amazing. I’m not sure i agree with you on your point that you judge children on their names but i agree with everything else that you said. I especially agreed with what you said about how you love a child no matter what they look like.

    1. Thanks Olivia! It’s not necessarily that I judge the CHILD, I judge the parent and find it a pretty good indicator of their social class!

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