Pucker Up Piers!
I realise the joy of Piers Morgan on our television boxes is so that he can enrage half of us and have the rest laughing as we nod away in agreement. America, he said (roughly), has ridiculous laws which allow GUNS in homes yet they have BANNED Kinder Eggs for their potentially dangerous toys. If little pieces of plastic get into the wrong hands… Think of the damage! Something along those lines anyway and most of us (I’m sure) applauded him for that one and gave him a mental pat on the back as he puffed out his chest feathers and danced around the studio like a buffoon on Red Bull, congratulating himself in offending half (not an ACTUAL factual stat) of all Americans, be they democrats, republicans or independents, while we all United in the Kingdom with our relatively normal approach to firearm laws and agreed with him for stating the bleeding obvious. Seriously, there’s a LOTTA, LOTTA Americans with some wacky ideas on why guns are a good idea huh but never fear, at least no one shall choke on a tiny plastic wheel!
So that’s Piers, speaking sense… But we do have to remember this lasts approximately 10 seconds only until he moves onto the next potentially offensive topic and we all roll our eyes as he damns women for their age, their body shape or… Let’s face it, tries to tell us the USA might indeed have their knickers twisted in the wrong way when it comes to guns but man, they chose a fair and decent President… Hmmm… See now, all a bit strange. Especially considering DT’s original stance on the old fire arms issue… Although his opinions do seem to be rather aqueous don’t they!
When it comes to Piers and his topics well… Any hole’s a goal it seems! Katie Hopkins – let’s go IN! Gender fluidity – Let’s taunt them with elephant jibes! Nikki Minaj, skin colour, sexism, feminism, Rupert bloody Murdoch – basically anything, any time, anywhere. And sometimes I agree with him, fiercely so. But often I screw my face up and find my head shaking from side to side… IF he’s like Marmite then when he’s good it’s with only the merest hint of a scraping because when he’s bad… Urgh…
For the most part I think GMB must have him on as a bit of a bird beater… They set him like a cat amongst a throng of pigeons and watch him go. It’s a bit like a farce every morning and this is terribly entertaining I suppose. I mean probably not for Susanna Reid who flaps around him looking worried but is this all part of the ‘show’ I wonder?! And I get it, it’s good for their stats, heck if I was the producer I’d probably use a bit of click bait Morgan too but sometimes, oh sometimes he really does piss me off!
This week one of his tit bits (and he has been a mega tit at that I feel) has been to slam David Beckham for kissing his 7 year old daughter Harper on the lips. Oh come on Piers, come the eff on?! Piers thinks it’s creepy but… I mean how?! I assume he’s suggesting it’s a sexual act and this is why he shouldn’t be doing it with his daughter? This clearly makes Piers the CREEPY one for letting that be what he takes from a very innocent image posted to DB’s Instagram page! I mean, again, come the EFFing EFF on… A quick smooch in a very innocent way is hardly damaging. Quite the opposite I would think… A loving Father unashamed to show how much he loves his little girl… A Daddy able to embrace and be affectionate and display his ease in this role on his Instagram page for all to see. I mean the man has 52.3 MILLION followers. I think if he was being creepy then he might not want to demonstrate to the wider public just how creepy he was… FFS!
Now obviously I DON’T have 52.3 million followers and no one said anything negative to me when I funnily enough posted a picture of me and my son kissing at the beginning of last week. One person did think it was a picture of me and my daughter which also would be fine except that this assumption was probably only made by the length of his hair – but that’s a whole other story, another topic for Piers and a blog post for me isn’t it!
I think I’ve kissed all three of my children on their lips every single day of their lives. One is 8, one is 6 and one is 13 months old. I am pretty sure they feel loved and I’m 100% happy that it is a normality we don’t even consider. Until pillocks like Piers make statements like these and then it just sort of winds me up a bit really. Well, it gives me blogger fodder that’s for sure. I can only surmise that Piers doesn’t have anyone, anywhere who’d like to kiss him on the lips or otherwise… I spent years at drama school kissing fellow students just as we entered and left rooms. It was a bizarre tradition really but so ingrained in my school it was totally normal. I’d literally kiss anyone if I had to, it’s kind of inbuilt into my soul now just like singing with a smile on my face (drama schools do something to you) but occasionally I meet someone I really don’t think I could pucker up for at all. Not even an air kiss, and Piers is definitely one of them!
Follow