Counting Sheep Is So Last Century!
How do you get to sleep? According to some philosophies the age old notion of counting sheep is said to date back to Medieval times when shepherds who used communal grazing land would have to keep track of their own sheep, this counting them all before bed each night. I think we’ve moved on a bit from there and I’m sure even shepherds have better methods to remedy when they find themselves awake at night these days. I play a game that my Mum taught me.
So, when I can’t sleep I mentally win the lottery, always a rather large sum because hey, if I’m fantasising it why would I win £200 thousand when it could be £50 million? And from there I lie in my bed spending it.
I have a few philanthropic endeavours of course, people with fertility issues will be donated treatment, I do quite a bit of charity as well and divvy up sums of money for family and friends. I always think of that episode if Friends where they joke that they’ll all be helecoptering up to the Cape while Ross, who didn’t put in for the pot, would have to gas up the Hyundai – it’d be no fun if your best people couldn’t afford your lifestyle and you had to be solo funning, far better to share it!
Then, after I’ve done all my worthy bits, I move onto the incredible joys of home building before holiday planning. And the home creation is what really excites and yet sends me off to sleep at the same time, dreaming happily of how big my mansion will be and what sort of decor it will have!
I flit between country living and ultra modern but right now I’m on a modern phase. All shiny units in the kitchen with a polished concrete floor (no idea how much that’ll cost but who cares, I’ve 50 mil in the pot, it can cost whatever it costs!) and to go with it all some massive multiple oven thing as opposed to the enormous aga I choose when I’m going traditional. The dining area and kitchen will all be integral with a snug (pah, snug, it will be HUGE) down one end for comfy sofas. I’ll have a work side high table, especially for food prep, with concrete counters to match the floor and a table giant enough to seat all of our extended family. Modern, sleek and desperately fashionable. The rest if the downstairs will be all utility, boot rooms, games, play, music and sitting rooms with devilishly decadent furnishings and views to lie down and sigh at.
Upstairs we will have 6 bedrooms, one for each if us plus a spare and each one will have a walk in wardrobe and dressing area alongside their own individual ensuites (apart from in the boys rooms where they will have interconnecting doors to one big, easy to clean, wet room. Not that I’ll be doing any cleaning of course but to make the job easier for whoever I handsomely pay to do it for me.
We will have a gardener and pool person (OBVIOUSLY) there’s a pool (sauna, steam and hot tub too) and as we lie down on our 400 thread count sheets every evening I’ll have ti find another way to while away the time and send myself to sleep for I’m sure I’ll be totally bored of this game by then.
Until that point however, counting sheep is so last century, this is how I send myself to slumber in 2021. Let’s just hope I’ve won the lottery by 2022 and can think of that new game. If not l’ll pay someone to gently mop my brow and feed me grapes until I drop off!