Is Not Remembering Your Childhood a Sign of Trauma? Understanding Memory and Its Link to Healing

How does a person understand that the trauma of the past has resolved and no longer affects them? The inability to remember events from your childhood or yourself at an early age is a fairly common phenomenon that even relatively young people face. This can cause surprise, anxiety, or even a sense of loss, but it is important to understand that such amnesia is often a protective reaction of our consciousness. Forgetting childhood memories stores a whole pool of valuable information about what exactly affects a person today and controls his worldview and life.

So, is not remembering your childhood a sign of trauma? Let’s find out what are the reasons for the repression of deep memories and why it is important for a person to remember repressed memories and work through the trauma with a psychotherapist.

How Does Our Memory Work?

Memory refers to the cognitive functions of the central nervous system, and its work depends on many factors that affect the brain throughout life. In short, there is short-term (conscious phase) and long-term (unconscious phase) memory, where every day, throughout life, without sleep or rest, memories are formed and stored in the shelves of our brain and its departments.

Are you curious about how childhood trauma may have impacted your memory and emotional well-being? Take the childhood trauma test Breeze to better understand any lingering effects and take the first step toward healing.

In psychology, a memory disorder in which a person cannot remember certain periods or events in their life associated with psychological stress or trauma is called psychogenic amnesia.

7 Causes of Childhood Memories Repression

Memory can be affected by both mental and physiological processes, which we will discuss in more detail below:

Traumatic events in the childhood

Long-term emotional, physical or sexual abuse by adults may have deep roots in the subconscious of the child, affecting their subsequent development. The consequences of unlived traumatic experiences are very extensive and affect the quality of life – from serious disturbances in relationships with oneself, other people and the world as a whole, to the development of mental disorders.

Chronic stress or deprivation

Long-term stress, childhood emotional neglect, lack of love, attention, or care can also lead to the repression of memories. The reason is constant feeling of insecurity, fear, or loneliness in childhood.

Family conflicts

A high level of conflict in the family, divorce of parents, or constant arguments can cause repression, as the child may not have other ways to cope with tension and emotional pain.

Internal conflicts

Repression can be associated with internal conflicts when the child experiences strong contradictory feelings or is between two important but incompatible needs or desires.

Perfectionism

Some people repress negative memories of their childhood, striving to maintain an idealized image of their family or certain events, which helps them maintain a positive self-perception and perception of their past.

Personality development

Sometimes, the process of repression is associated with the natural development of personality and psychological defense mechanisms that allow a person to focus on the present and the future, minimizing the impact of painful memories from the past.

Resentment

One of the main causes of an overloaded or “erased” memory is also resentment, suppressed aggression, shame, guilt, claims, fear and pity. These states can be ambivalent both in relation to the offender and in relation to oneself.

What About Selective Forgetting?

Selectivity is an additional factor that may contribute to psychogenic amnesia. People may not even notice or bring up their childhood memories if they don’t feel a certain connection to them or assign a certain value to them. It’s called selective forgetting.

Selective forgetting is the process in which a person forgets information that can trigger painful or unimportant aspects of their past such as self-neglect, or information that simply does not correspond to their interests, goals, beliefs, or self-esteem. It’s a psychological adaptation mechanism that aids in concentrating on what matters to a person now and in the future.

Selective forgetting does not, however, totally remove memories from memory. In some situations, such as when reading a book, seeing pictures, or meeting up with old friends, they can be remembered.

Why Is It Important to Recall Repressed Memories and Work through Trauma with a Psychotherapist?

Deep, repressed memories play a key role in a person’s mental health and emotional well-being:

Understanding and awareness of the cause-and-effect motives and the root of the problem.
Resolving internal conflicts.
Restoring the integrity of the personality.
Overcoming fears and limitations.
Improving interpersonal relationships.
Emotional liberation and healing.
Personal growth.

If the trauma remains unresolved and the person continues to avoid solving the problem, the past wounds may continue to control them and their life. Deep memories can be “retrieved from memory” and “cured” with the help of a mental health specialist.

How Does a Person Understand that the Trauma of the Past Has Been Resolved and No Longer Affects Them?

Understanding that the trauma of the past has been resolved and no longer affects a person’s life can come gradually and manifest itself through various signs and changes in his inner world and behavior.

Here are some key indicators to pay attention to:

Reduction or disappearance of anxiety and fears;
Change in the perception of oneself and one’s past;
Improvement in interpersonal relationships;
Return to normal life;
Resistance to stress;
Change in internal dialogue;
No avoidance;
Ability to talk about trauma without experiencing it.

Resolving past trauma is a powerful process that leads to profound changes in a person’s life.

Conclusion

Loss of childhood memories may be related to the individual characteristics of the person, their life circumstances, and, in the case of short-term loss of memories, their mental state.

One of the common possible reasons for forgetting childhood memories is trauma. If in childhood, a person experienced physical or emotional abuse, bullying, loss of loved ones, then they may subconsciously repress these memories from their memory in order to protect themselves from pain and suffering. This is called psychogenic amnesia.

This may be complete or partial forgetting, temporary or long-term. Psychogenic amnesia can be caused by both a single traumatic event and chronic stress or violence. The psychological defense mechanism helps a person cope with the horror they have experienced, for example, when their parents yelled at them for no reason or when high school students bullied them after school. Thus, the brain will try to erase any traumatic event that caused horror. It is a coping strategy that helps a child cope with severe stress and continue living.

The child’s psyche is more prone to repressing memories than the psyche of an adult. After all, a child has fewer tools for processing and accepting experience. However, this does not mean that these memories disappear from the brain completely. They can be restored under certain conditions, for example, during psychotherapy, hypnosis, or under the influence of some triggers.