Askamum love my blog, ooo-errr how exciting!
My little big one started nursery for the first time after Christmas and she on the one hand seems to love it and on the other hand doesn’t want to go at all. It’s kind of how I feel about it all too!
Part of me is happy that she’s going because it’ll aid her personal development, give her a whole new challenge (which she needs) and also give me time to spend with my little, little one and do the things with him that I used to do with Florence but haven’t had the time to do this time round. Jimmy has just had to come along with us on all of Florence’s activities and although I’m sure he gets something out of lots of them, he definitely gets nothing from sitting in the buggy outside ballet classes and it will be just lovely to do some baby things with him on his own! Selfishly I’m also looking forward to the Mummy and Baby Cinema as this is something I adored with Florence and it’s on at just the right nap time for Jimmy!
The part of me that’s not so happy about her going is the part that wants to cling on to my baby girl forever. One of the things I will say to Florence and Jimmy when they’re older is that I just want them to be happy. Happy in whatever they do, wherever they go and whoever they love. Whatever they choose to do with their lives and I’ll be happy if they are but that I hope one day they choose to have children and that Florence experiences having a baby because it is the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me and I want that level of happiness for them. Florence being born was quite honestly like a light had been turned on inside of me and it has made my life. Having Jimmy and I feel the same, babies are simply the best thing in the world and make it go round. I’ve been with both of mine day in and day out since they were born and Florence going to school is quite a wrench as she is my buddy, the person I talk to and who talks to me all day. We laugh, we snuggle up, we are ‘we’ and I’m going to miss her – even though it’s only two and a half days a week!
Obviously I’ll have to toughen up as soon it’ll be five days and then before I know it she’ll be off to university and it’s not that I want to hold her back but just that I have this little pang that she’s growing and life is changing – that’s good, absolutely, I know that but… I’m a Mum, you know…
Florence wants to go because she’s independent and eager to learn! She has so much going on in her intelligent little brain and it needs to be nurtured. She also loves to play and form bonds and wants to make friends which she has always done easily. The thing is, she doesn’t want to go because she’s finding it hard with the other people. Florence is very friendly and I don’t think she’s ever experienced other children not wanting to play with her but at nursery she’s the new one and bonds have already been formed. A little girl wouldn’t play with her because she didn’t have a cardigan on and this has upset her greatly. Now I’m not a sheep but just like in the film ‘About A Boy’ when he says he needs a bit of camouflage I think absolutely sometimes you just need the good trainers so that people don’t have something to pick on. I bought her a cardigan and told her if they still won’t play with her she’s to find someone else to play with. I asked her the next day on the way to school what she would do if they wouldn’t play with her again and she said this: ‘I’ll find someone else, but the problem is Mummy, the other children don’t want to play with me either’… Well it broke my heart…
This is the start of a very long journey and learning what girls are like I’m afraid and although I want to come and personally garrote this little girl who seems to be so significant in the nursery hierarchy I have to remember they are only three! My Mum (a retired reception teacher) said they are all like this at times and Florence will be too but honestly she’s not. Not right now anyway and it’s this loss of innocence that’s another reason I wish I could wrap her in cotton wool forever. Yes she may learn to be bitchy over the years (I certainly did) but she honestly isn’t like this now, would play with anyone and is so confused as to why people are leaving her out…
It’s not massively bad, it’s just how it is and she is confident and will stamp her personality and place in the pecking order in time. I’ve spoken to the teachers, not specifically about this little girl but just asking if Florence seems ok and if she plays with others etc and they seem to think she does so I’m not terribly worried, but it’s something I am now aware of and wish I didn’t have to be.
I guess it’s human nature, especially with girls but it just makes me a bit sad that she has a whole school journey of weeding out the good from the bad and having experiences like this! Oh well, such is life but as well as telling my babies I want them to be happy I’m going to tell them to be kind to people, even if they’re not kind to them in return. It’s the best way surely?? They may only be three now but one day they’ll be adults and adults can be nightmares too! My lovely, kind and friendly girl will make friends soon and the other children will see what a brilliant play mate she is, I know this because I know her but it doesn’t stop my heart beating faster thinking about her being left out and upset!
It’s a good job the right one of us doesn’t cry after we’ve said goodbye in the mornings and on the two days in a row that I called just after I got home last week the teacher told me she was happily sitting on the carpet putting her hand up!
My wonderful girl! She’s catching snow in her mouth in case you were wondering!
MY LIFE WITH 2!
So! This was the week of the snow! It couldn’t have come at a more apt time for us as we were celebrating our second Christmas at my Dad’s house. We didn’t see my Dad, Step Mum and siblings over Christmas so it was fab to get together and both of my brothers came home from university (one from Cambridge and one from Oxford – have I mentioned I’m from that calibre of stock? ;-)) which was great as I can’t remember the last time we were all in the same room. My little sister is Florence’s idol and Florence was just thrilled to bits with the whole visit! Father Christmas came again (lucky us) and we had a brilliant meal with crackers, the whole caboodle! The snow made it seem very festive and in the morning we all went out sledging which was so much fun! It was Jimmy’s first snow and Florence’s first sledge and I got some great pictures!
Florence impressed my Step Mum with how bright she is (and this is the Mother of the Oxford and Cambridge students so I’m inclined to think she knows what she’s talking about) which made me feel very proud and Jimmy let go and stood one handed for the first time! What a lovely weekend we all had!
Well, that’s it from me this week, see you next week but in the mean time follow me on Twitter @rocknrollerbaby
(All opinions and words, apart from those in green, are my own. I have not been paid for this article although I did receive some products to keep after I had reviewed them.)