Mummy Etiquette!

Askamum love my blog, ooo-errr how exciting!

Sometimes I wonder if I’m too polite to other mothers? There’s a Mum etiquette and some use it, some don’t. I think I try to just be as polite as possible and I often find myself not saying what I really think in order to save the feelings of others around me. I don’t know if it’s perhaps a desire to ensure others are happy and feel right in what they are thinking without challenge or if it’s some kind of wanting to be accepted on my part so not wanting to rock the boat? I think though, not being that bothered about what people think of me in general, that it’s really just because I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings and because I know how to be polite. I follow the Mum etiquette. For example, a friend of my Mum’s was telling me about her son and saying she had been advised to seek medical attention because quite a few mile stones hadn’t been reached. Even though I too was thinking, well yes, actually I think you probably should because it’s quite remarkable that your child hasn’t done this yet, she wasn’t asking me my opinion just telling me hers so I found myself agreeing with her when she said she wasn’t that worried about it and wasn’t going to do anything.

Firstly I didn’t want to undermine her parental gut feelings, especially when she could quite easily be right and secondly because I just felt it wasn’t my place to say anything – good mum etiquette would surely say ‘don’t dismiss another Mum’s gut feelings about their children’? I’m not sure if this is being a good friend or not though? I think if my child hadn’t progressed as well as their peers and I could quite easily see that at baby groups, just as this woman could, then I would be taking my child to the Doctor of my own accord so wouldn’t need anyone to say anything. However, if someone did say something and I hadn’t noticed, how would I feel? Best to steer well clear I think! Some women just aren’t like that though and will say exactly what they’re thinking all of the time, bugger any Mum etiquette! I find this very irritating which is probably why I try to keep my mouth shut. I know I don’t actually do this in any other aspect of my life and have been known to be very verbal and not mind upsetting people but when it comes to your children then it’s a whole different ball game!

I also can’t stand it when other people tell my child off when I’m quite clearly present! That’s my job actually and if I haven’t said anything then it’s for a reason. The only exception to that would be if my child is hurting your child and I am completely ignoring it, which I wouldn’t of course but lots of women wade in and say something when it’s absolutely nothing to do with them! Part of the Mum etiquette seems to be able to politely just remove your own child and move slowly away from a terror on the rampage. I know I do! Once, in soft play at the top of the slide and not where I could get to, a boy twice a 1-year-old Florence’s age was pushing her, biting her and hitting her. The Mum was just stood gawping not doing a thing! I didn’t say anything for two bites, a push, a thump and a kick because I was waiting for her to do her job. Finally on the third bite I had to shout ‘DON’T DO THAT’! There comes a limit to the Mum etiquette of course! This did however spark a full on argument with the other woman who then burst into tears and I have endured evil looks from her friends ever since. Well, her son was a brute (as I told her), I guess I’d be crying if I had to deal with that daily… Whoops, let the Mum etiquette slip a bit there…

That to me was understandable and there does come a point where Mum etiquette has to go out the window but on the whole I think it’s definitely worth following. Too much trouble is caused if not… We Mum’s are easily offended when it comes to our children, we should be, we’re protecting our young! And I just find it quite funny with the Mum’s who don’t follow it now. I often think, blimey! I’d never say that, wonder how you can genuinely think it’s acceptable!!?? I think the funniest Mum etiquette fail I have ever heard is a rather posh bird at a party telling me that she obviously has the best child in the world! Upon asking her if she was going to have any more she said, ‘why would I? I have the best one, no offence, yours are lovely but mine is the absolute best child in the world and when you can’t go higher what’s the point in having another’. Clearly every Mum thinks their children are THE best children in the world but etiquette, not just Mum etiquette but just general normal behavioural etiquette would dictate you don’t say this sort of thing to another Mother because she’s going to be thinking the exact same thing about her own offspring! No other Mother is going to nod her head and say oh yes, you’re right, he is the best one, wonder why I didn’t get him?! Now if I hadn’t been following Mum etiquette and nodding politely as I thought about what a strange woman she is, I would have responded with this: ‘Don’t be daft love, he’s obviously not the best! He’s been banging his head against a wall for the last 3 hours, throwing stones in the pond at the ducks and punching you on the nose! He’s nearly 4 and can’t make a sentence and his nostrils are almost as wide and flaily as your own substantial ones which means his nose takes over his whole face!’ Now that really would have been a Mum etiquette slip and a half! 😉

Me and my sister-in-law (from workitmamma) who don’t have to employ Mum etiquette with each other as we’re faaaaaaamily!

This week in our count down to Christmas we have been lucky enough to visit Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park! It was brilliant and Christmas is well and truly ‘on’ in our house now! I’m having to use all my strength not to get the tree up! That would just be silly but boy do I want to do it!! Jonny says the second week of December so I’ll have to wait it out untill then… We’ve also been trying out some present ideas and the ScrambleBug was loads of fun! A Bratz Boutique is also firmly on our Christmas list as Bratz are totally awesomely girlie and up our street and this one has a ringing cash register with a shop! We can also recommend the flutterby teether from Sassy Toys which would make an excellent gift for a tiny one! Read our reviews by clicking on the links!

MY LIFE WITH 2!

It’s been such a busy week with loads going on for all of us! Firstly, I am pleased to report than Jimmy has stopped teething – for now! He’s finally gone back to being my happy chappy which he hasn’t been since he was poorly! He went straight from being ill to having teeth come through and we were beginning to think he’d not go back to the amiable smiler that he’s always been! It’s been a tough few weeks but he’s back with his brightness and sunshine, it’s so lovely to see! He’s two teeth the better for it and by the way he’s chomping down on things I’m pretty sure it won’t be long before the whole teething hoo haa starts again but for now we’re just going to enjoy him being happy! Florence is happy too and is thrilled at the thought of going to nursery in January. We had a home visit from our nursery of choice this week and it’s been confirmed that she has her place. She might even get to start in December as apparently their rules about being 3 are changing slightly so fingers crossed! She loves it when we go for stay and play there and cries when we leave so she’s definitely ready! I’m sure she’ll be just fine with me leaving too because she keeps telling me she wants to go on her own. Talking of being three, I’ve booked Florence’s party at a craft place near us where they’ll do some crafting, have some food and play some games. Bit lazy on my part as I only have to take a cake but I thought it was a little bit different and they’ll all love it! It’s party central at the moment as lots of Florence’s friends were born around this time of year; we all met when they were just weeks old. We’ve had a few already and more to come with three being thrown next weekend alone!

Jimmy and Jonny enjoy a recent party!
Florence practices for her party! When we went to book we simply had to have a go!

And with the Christmas party season being in full swing too (for me anyway) I have also been partying! Earlier on in the week Asda invited me to the Leith’s School of cookery to learn how to make Christmas Pud. How lucky am I! And if all the partying starts to take its toll I can draw on my newly learned yoga moves to relax and unwind! My friend Amy invited me to her yoga workshop day which was brilliant and relaxed me immensely! Find out how I got on at both events by clicking on the links. And lastly, before I go, I must tell you about my latest baby find! Because it’s been SO cold and is only getting nippier and nippier, I have been using a new kind of blanket come footmuff come wrap to keep Jimmy toastie! It works for every occasion be it inside or out and I love it! Read my Star Wrap review and see what you think!

Well, that’s it from me this week, I’m off to Norfolk to see my Mum after the weekend and can’t wait for a bit of a break! I’ll be posting from Norwich so do pop back and see what we’re up to but in the mean time follow me on Twitter @rocknrollerbaby.

(All opinions and words, apart from those in green, are my own. I have not been paid for this article although I did receive some products to keep after I had reviewed them.)