A Positive Birth: The Dad’s Guide To Becoming A Confident Birth Partner!
When asked if I’d review the latest book by Daddilife Books, written for dads, by dads, and understood the topic, I jumped at the chance. I think Dads during the births of their children are often left feeling like spare parts and without wanting to get in the way they try to un-involve themselves when actually, they couldn’t be more needed! In step A Positive Birth: The Dads Guide To Hypnobirthing & Becoming A Confident Birth Partner!
I have tremendous memories of the faux pas made by my husband at the birth of our first daughter (he asked the midwife if it would go on for much longer as he didn’t think he could take much more – among other things) and I feel he could have used a handy guide written by other dads who’d been in the battle field before him. This book is exactly that in fact, with a diverse variety of dad’s being interviewed (as is the way with Daddilife books) to compile a manual (a man’s happy place) for everything from what to expect during labour to how a positive birth using hypnobirthing can benefit and support the Mum.
The book asks questions Dads may not think about prior, but find themselves floundering in a sea not knowing what to do when put into the situation having never considered options before. Simple questions about what they would expect and what they would hope for, where they’d like the birth to be etc. I’m sure all men are led by their partners but actually this is a really helpful tool for them to be able to sit down and look after their partners themselves as for first time mums it’s also a very scary experience. Just because it happens to your body does not mean you have all the answers and know all the details, often time both parents are a bit lost so being armed on both sides with as much knowledge and armoury as possible is key to achieving the positive birth we all desire.
The explanation of medical terminology surrounding birth, the different stages of labour and explaining beyond the basics is perhaps something Dads don’t think to ask about or have the thought put to them to be told. This is all inside to help the understanding alongside simply hearing stories from other fathers is invaluable to a first time Dad. Women talk traditionally, men don’t and this is their downfall. Here in this book is all the conversations women have with their girlfriends written in a helpful manual for dads to consume the same information but in an environment they may feel more comfortable with.
When it comes to the hypnobirthing element of the book, a thread which runs throughout it, bringing the positive tool set, and arming himself means that Dads can be the positive partner they want to be with all the gear running with all the idea. It’s one thing thinking about what it might be like or watching it on TV, another entirely in reality. Preparation is key and this really does help Dads realistically prepare. This is very much something to help both the mum in labour and her partner who wants to support her and not panic. Advice on how to hand hold all the way through labour while being able to look after himself is just what dads to be are in need of and this book is it! It even reminds them at the end to remember what they’ve learned. I think it’s such a valuable birthing tool in itself that I’m sure midwives will be handing it out to the Dads at antenatal classes very soon!
When it comes to being a confident birthing partner this is the book Dads need to be reading. Unlike Mums, traditionally the Dads don’t swap stories from the birthing battlefield anymore than they do on much more than the footie scores but this doesn’t mean they don’t want to. Or at least, want to gain the information those conversations could afford them. This book is all of that chat in one manual form which is just up the street of most of the blokes I know. Men want to be helpful during birth and are needed to be so but it’s a rather alien environment to the person whose body is giving birth to let alone her partner, is it any wonder men panic and say and do the wrong thing? Reading this conglomeration of other Dads stories, as well as details for what to expect both medically and environmentally, arms men with the right tool kit to go in confidently and supportively. Knowledge is key, you wouldn’t put flat pack furniture together without reading the instructions first, or buying the right allen key, well, you might, but you probably wouldn’t get it right! So buy the book, treat it as an allen key, and go in with strong legs that won’t fall down at the first sign of crowning!
Another great book in the series and a wonderful male to male voice!