A few weeks ago I wrote about how I already have my suspicions for what my children may want to be when they grow up. They come from performing genes and already, even Jimmy, show potential for music and dance and dramatics… Florence is an absolutely fabulous little actress already and obviously I love this but whatever they want to be I will support them. If they wanted to work in a fast food joint I might try and persuade them they have more potential but if it would make them happy then I’d give them all my backing, they’re my babies so of course.
I’ve also written about how my parents, especially my Mum, have supported me in all of my endeavors, even allowing me to attend a full time drama school at the age of 12. I was so lucky to have family around me who wanted to let me blossom in my own way and gave me every opportunity to do the best I possibly could. Surely there’s no other way? To be pushed and forced in a direction which isn’t for you is surely just a form of bullying? Perhaps one born from love but bullying all the same?
I think a few generations ago the thinking wasn’t quite the same and perhaps in other cultres it still isn’t. I love my Grandparents dearly. I can’t even use the words for how I feel about them in the past tense even though they are no longer with us because I love them so much. I think about them all the time and this past weekend I’ve thought about them more than usual. I cried a few times this weekend missing my Grandma. It was Grandpa I was closest to but I miss her more. I don’t know why that is but I do. I wish every day that I could see her and hug her, watch her with my children and tell her sorry for things gone past and how much she means to me. They were both brilliant and good people but I know they had different ideas about parenting to the ones I and my parents do.
My Grandma was fiercely strict with my Mum and I know that lovely and warm as my Grandma could be, she ruled my Mum with an iron fist as a child. My Mum grew up scared of doing and saying the wrong thing and probably only became a teacher because it was expected of her that she do something academic and ‘worthwhile’. I’ve spoken to my Mum about her upbringing and although she was very close with my Grandparents, as a teen she couldn’t wait to leave home because she needed some freedom. I’m so thankful that I never experienced feeling like that myself.
My Mum is very clever and I often wonder how I will ever be able to be for Florence and Jimmy what she is to me. The woman knows the answer to everything! EVERYTHING! (Seriously, I’ve already started answering Florence’s questions with ‘I don’t know, let’s ring Gram, she will!’ And if I don’t know the answer to three year old questions then what comes next?) But my Mum is also incredibly creative. She can make clothes, knit, bake and decorate the most amazing cakes, paint, garden, craft… She’s wicked! When she did the button holes and floral boquettes for my wedding we all said she should have been a florist and this weekend, after another lovely floral arrangement for Jonny’s Mum’s birthday I said it again. She said ideally she’d have loved to have been a florist. A florist or a milliner. Why didn’t you I asked? Oh, you know… she said… My lovely talented and creative Mummy wanted a creative job – she was an awesome teacher but she’d have also been an awesome florist, I wonder would she have been happier?
I will always remember that at 64 my Mum knows she didn’t do what she would have really liked and I’m sure if she’d tried to it wouldn’t have been met with the most supportive of views because that was the time. I will always remember and if I ever forget then someone remind me. People should try to be what THEY want to be, not what anyone else wants for them. Jimmy and Florence may read this as teens, if it’s then and I’m being a nightmare Mum, then children, tell me to get over it – I would have done! Your Gram didn’t and she didn’t become what she wanted to be ideally, so you go, be a milliner or a florist or whatever you want to be with my full and undying backing! Be you!
MY LIFE WITH 2!
Now, after my little post above about people being what they want to be I’m going to tell you that we spent Father’s Day with the family watching our children put on a show for the grown ups after we’d eaten together and my full ‘show biz Mum’ side was clapping heartily! I used to do this as a child and my heart swelled with pride as my lovely children and nephew sang and danced for us adults! I don’t know how I’m old enough to have children putting on shows but I am, it’s happened and I love it! I love that we have such a gorgeous family and my sister in law is one of the loveliest ladies I know. I’m very lucky.
Jonny and her were close growing up and used to put on shows, gymnastics if I remember the stories rightly, for their parents and Grandparents. They were also very close with their cousins and it’s fab that our children are growing up so close in age and so friendly. It’s an extension on siblings and you can never have too many people to call back up can you! We had a lovely Father’s Day despite tummy upsets and tiredness. Family is fabulous isn’t it!
We’re now off to our haven Holiday with my Mum! I can’t wait to tell you all about it! Florence is so excited and whatever the weather we shall have good company so a good time! Bring on the holiday!
So, see you again next week and in the mean time please do follow me on Twitter @rocknrollerbaby.
I was not paid for any part of this post.