For the most part Florence is a very well behaved little girl. We get complimented on her impeccable politeness all the time and it makes me feel even more incredibly proud of her. She is however only four years old and with that does come a certain degree of monkeyitis!
If she’s tired or I don’t know, just having a rare grump then she CAN test her boundaries a little too far and I am not going to allow her to behave badly with no consequences – despite her usually beautiful behaviour.
Recently we went to the theatre just us and had been looking forward to a lunch together afterwards. Unfortunately she had a bit of a temper and was very demanding when I said ‘not today’ to the rowing boats in the park. It went on a bit and I threatened that if she didn’t start behaving then we would go home. She didn’t and so that’s exactly what we did!
On Saturday we were lucky enough to be invited to two parties in central London and after enjoying the first one and being given lots of goodies to come home with Florence decided that she was going to be very upset that I wouldn’t buy her something else in the shop we were in. Again it went on a bit and eventually I told her to snap out of it or the exact same thing would happen and we would go home missing the next party altogether. She continued to be a little madam and with a face like thunder sat on the tube en route so I issued the threat once again.
‘Florence’, I said ‘If you can’t behave and be the lovely little girl I know you are then we shall just go home. You can’t be given lots of things then expect more and sulk because you don’t get it. I am more than happy to just go home and miss the next party because little girls that can’t behave themselves do NOT deserve to go to parties’. Was I already annoyed with her? Yes I was, she’d continued when I told her the first few times and my tone will have portrayed that
My reaction was fair enough I thought. And still think actually. How else will she learn if she is not taught how to behave well with consequences.
However.
The woman standing next to me dared to say this to me and I am sure she regretted it immediately. If she didn’t then shame on her!
‘Don’t say that to her, it’s breaking my heart! She will grow up feeling un loved if you tell her she doesn’t deserve things’!
URM WHAT NOW?!
Firstly, how dare this woman butt in on my conversation where I was disciplining MY child and secondly, where did she think she had the right! If I was a violent woman I might have felt like hitting her she annoyed me SO much. Instead I told her exactly where she could get off and I told her. Loudly. In no uncertain terms when she needed to keep her big trap shut!
To this a man chipped in and decided to tell me the woman was perfectly within her right to step in if she saw a parent ABUSING a child! I quite literally verbally flew at him! My friend stood up for me and said ‘She’s NOT abusing her child though is she?’!
I questioned him, ‘Have you never offered consequences to your children for their actions?’ He agreed he had but again told me it WAS his and the other woman’s business!
I’m afraid I told him to FUCK off! Well he didn’t like that! In fact he had even more to say about it! Looking back and I can probably say I shouldn’t have sworn, I should have been a bit more intelligent but he made me SO angry in such an unexpected way!
And then he said ‘You’re a very angry woman!’
I HATE it when people say that sort of thing after doing something to make you angry!
‘YES’ I said! ‘I am angry. WITH YOU’!
Now, if I had been hitting my child or manhandling her in any way then it would be different. In that case then someone absolutely SHOULD step in. If someone had seen me systematically putting her down and being horrible to her unnecessarily then maybe say something then. But we had been on the tube 5 seconds!
I was telling my little girl off. Because I love her. Because I want her to grow up knowing you can’t have everything and be a brat about it!
I was doing the right thing by my child and how DARE anyone say any differently! My child. My rules! I love her SO much I could burst and I take such offence that someone would suggest otherwise. I would NEVER hurt her and I take and took great exception to the insinuation that I was!
My advice if you ever feel like stepping in and advising a parent how they should and shouldn’t talk to their children. DON’T! Unless you have reason to believe they are doing something they shouldn’t then leave well alone. It is absolutely NONE of your business and HOW DARE YOU!
The only good thing as that the whole episode snapped Florence right out of her mood and we had a delightful afternoon at the second party we may never have got to otherwise!
Follow
He was a blooming unpleasant man.
The lady definitely regretted saying anything thats for sure but he was just plain rude!
So glad you stood up for yourself darling and I’m sad I wasn’t closer to tell him what I thought too. I was only able to catch a little.
You were definitely right!
I can’t believe some people you are and were totally within your rights to tell Florence off and it is none of their business yes I they had had seen you hit her which they wouldn’t because you don’t!!!!! Then they could of said something but apart from that and especially only seemingly catching the end of the your conversation and not the whole story to judge you is wrong, if a child is never said no to or corrected or told off when there wrong, they don’t know their wrong and just become problem child from hell.
I’m glad you had a fabulous rest of the day with Flo Bo xx
How dare they indeed! That’s unbelievably rude of them to say what they did. They should mind their own business. I’d have done the same as you and told them where to go.
I’m glad you had a lovely afternoon after all x
Holy macaroni!!! Firstly, I’m the same as you, I don’t want brats. If she misbehaves lots after being told not too then she’ll miss out. Obvs I’m not as strict yet as she’s only two but I’m setting the group rules now.
Secondly even if they didn’t agree, HOW BLOODY DARE THEY get involved!? Your weren’t casing her harm, what the actual hell? How can people get involved in so,ething as daft as this, yet turn a blind eye to actual abuse astounds me. I’m so glad you stood up for yourself and so what if you sweared, you were provoked. Knobs!
Love you Kelly! And love the word KNOB! (I might have actually called him one of those two, with a ber on the end)! 😉 x
How dare she?! Seriously I commend you for using a suitable discipline! You are just giving boundaries to your child so that she doesn’t act spoilt or rude or ungrateful ( I have been doing exactly the same at the moment -it’s the age I think)
Because you set those boundaries that the woman took offence to, your child will grow up with manners and respect and an appreciation for things and understand that things need to be worked for and are not just a given.
We went to a toy shop the other day to get two birthday gifts. Eowyn saw so much that she really liked and I knew she wanted (it was killing me to not get her anything) but she remained a flipping saint throughout the trip and was so so gracious and was just picking the gifts for the other kids. All around us however were spoilt kids demanding everything. One little girl actually said ‘god dad keep up, you aren’t even paying attention to all the things I want ‘ 😮
Wow! We do not want kids like that so use discipline (not even harsh discipline in my eyes) to raise them well. Good on you for sticking up for yourself! Xxxxxxxxxxx Xxxxxxxxxxx Xxxxxxxxxxx Xxxxxxx
Thank you because the truth of it is, I did then start to worry, was I being mean? Am I not a good enough Mum who over reacts badly about this sort of stuff. I know I can have a hot head. But then I was thinking about it again today and it made my blood boil! xx
Worry is a natural mum instinct..I’d like to see their children and see how their parenting skills panned out… You know that is if they actually have kids! Tut! Massive tut to them!! Xx
Oh my word! It really annoys me when people think they can muddle in on how people raise their children. I would have done exactly the same. Like you, I want my children to learn that naughty behaviour comes with consequences and you cant have everything you want. I have stopped my children going to parties and banned them from playing outside with friends, instead making them sit in their rooms to think about what they have done. It’s not child abuse, it’s raising a child that will become a well grounded, kind, considerate adult!
Oh my goodness! How awful! And yes, how dare they! I don’t know whether I would have stayed composed in such a situation. There are some terribly nosey people out there!
What is going on in our country, Emily, my daughter has people telling her children off for acting like children. You have people interfering on what looks like excellent parenting to me. Keep your chin up and f.o. sometimes needs to be used you were being ganged up on by busybodies
Thank you. 🙂