How To Find Yourself Again After Giving Birth
After having a baby it’s totally normal to not feel quite ‘normal’, why would you? You have just given birth; you are now a mother, you have a new purpose in life and a very important job to do.
People say it will get better, and you just have to give it time and concentrate on your baby; you’ll get yourself into a routine, you will get a bit more energy. But one of the main things you need to do is accept that you have changed, you will never be able to go back to a time when you haven’t had a baby, and that’s okay. It’s an exciting time in your life; it is life moving forward, and while it might take a bit of adjustment, that’s really all it needs.
Even if you don’t like yourself at the minute, that doesn’t mean you have to accept this will be you forever, you will be able to get into your pre-pregnancy clothes again, and you will feel more like yourself again. Whatever that means for you, be it going to have your nails done each week, putting fake tan on again or shopping for belly button rings.
It’s not a case of going back now; it’s adapting to your new normal and the wonderful addition to your family. However, it would still be nice to feel like yourself again, even if that is a new ‘self’, so how can you do that while still being a great mum?
Be Kinder to yourself
The first steps are to stop feeling guilty about not being there enough, not spending enough time with your kids, forgetting important things or missing important milestones. Don’t be mad at yourself for worrying about your weight and don’t be mad at yourself for not getting back to your pre-baby weight. Rid yourself of all the guilt because you are good enough and you don’t have to be perfect all the time. If you put too much pressure on yourself, it will make you feel even worse.
This might sound counterintuitive when you’re not supposed to be feeling guilty about your weight or body, however, forget that for a second and think about how taking care of your body is beneficial for your health, your self-esteem, your confidence, and your happiness. If you’re not feeling up to going out jogging or heading off to the gym, then you can do just about any workout at home. Try yoga, pilates, or a full-body workout, but take it slow, to begin with though and be gentle on yourself. It’s about making you feel good, that’s what matters right now.
Meditation is wonderful for alleviating stress and anxiety, enhancing self-esteem, and bringing control to your life. There are a load of guided meditations you can listen to for free on YouTube or download an app such as Calm or Headspace to help you. You don’t even need much time, just a few minutes a day and you will start to see a difference.
Spend time with your partner
Things change after having children, and it’s easy to forget about your other relationships. Even if you are tired, take the time to have some quality time with your partner, even if it is just having a cup of coffee together, or meeting up for lunch. Reconnecting with your partner will help you find yourself again.