When I was on holiday last week and had had a few beers I was rummaging around in my bag and getting everything out on the table in search of the thing I was looking for. Jonny said ‘I bet that’s not what people expect to find in a yummy mummies hand bag!
It got me thinking, what do we really have in our hand bags? It can’t surely be all 8 hour cream, rescue remedy and Peppa Pig plasters? All herbal creams and eco friendly nappies stored in pristine nappy wallets with perfectly clean changing mats? Do real mummies have everything stored neatly in compartments and carry only organic and natural snacks with them? Certainly not me!
Now, as I said, I was on holiday and carrying around everything in just the one bag. It wasn’t a lovely shiny changing bag but one of Jonny’s man bags that happens to be the one I’ve been grabbing recently and I may have had a few things that I wouldn’t ordinarily but the contents of my bag, my REAL bag, made Jonny and I giggle so much I thought I’d post them in the style of the glossy mags who have ‘What’s in your make up bag’ and ‘What’s in your nappy bag’ articles…
This isn’t the bag of a yummy mummy, this is the bag of a very slummy mummy on holiday…
- Screwed up clean (ish) nappy. Grubby round the edges from just being shoved in and seems to be the wrong size!
- Dried up (mostly) wet wipes – only about 3 left in pack!
- Gambling Cup for slot machine coins to be used in the holiday arcade – Takes up most of bag, are free and plentiful in holiday arcade but obviously I keep mine!
- Regular stuff randomly lolling at the bottom of the bag requiring rummage extreme to find: keys, wallet, loose coins, phone (Nearly out of battery), holiday park passes…
- Bits of McDonals’s toys.
- Bag of sweets and old lollipop – Healthy snacks?
- A packet of dried up cigarettes… Well, I was on holiday and being naughty!
- Matches – slightly wet from open wet wipes which have dried out but left a dampness in the rest of the bag! (Will never light cigarettes mentioned above!)
- A packet of false nails – At some point I might get a chance to apply them, I’ve only been trying for a week!
- A pine cone – well who doesn’t?!
- A tampon with the wrapper broken – I’m nothing if not prepared!
- Some badges made at a craft thing we went to ages ago!
- Some loose beads – of course!
- 3 pens – none work
- Some extra nail glue – if I ever get the false nails on, one might fall off!
- A fan. Yes, a fan! I don’t know why?!
There’s also an awful lot of sand and bits at the bottom of my bag? How?
So, that was the contents of my bag one evening last week… Goodness knows why I had the nappy and dry wet wipes? Mum was babysitting in the caravan and Jonny and I had gone out for a drink! I wonder will I ever be the sort of Mummy who has pristine hand bags with fruit based snacks in perfect pots, wet wet wipes and organic creams?
What’s really in your bag?